A Visitation By My Best Friend

This must be some sort of record: two visits in a month that I've seen my Best Bud who I went to Junior High and most of High School with. He must've been bored. We have a long history of significant life events that unfolded over the years starting with #2 pencils. He had a penchant for stabbing me in the hands with them every chance he got. It couldn't be that I teased him mercilessly about his height back then because he was approximately the size of a Hobbit. I still have pencil tattoos to this day. As the years passed, he worked as a carpenter who became one with the house he was building. His boss put a rather large nail through some wood above him where his head was in proximity to. It drove into his skull and stuck him to the upstairs woodwork. Thank goodness his brain was not overly large or it could've caused irreparable damage. He got all whiny and spent some time in the hospital looking for sympathy, though. Then later on he contracted cancer and went through the whole chemo protocol driving back and forth to Spokane. I was privileged to give him his last chemo ride up there and we managed to mutually regurgitate the entire way back, some two hundred miles. It was memorable. As if that wasn't enough, we camped out on the American River "roughing it" and were flooded out of our camp. I distinctly remember him saying, "We'll be fine." It was a long, wet drive back to town that night. The reason I bring this up is because he volunteered to attach the license plates onto my new truck. It involved screws and tools with sharp ends. I rapidly exited to my back yard on the other side of my house, waiting for the screams of pain to erupt throughout the neighborhood. He's my best friend, but he's awfully high maintenance! Why tempt the odds? Gary