Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Remember The Eyeglasses Incident?

THIS is Lily the culprit. The cushion she was sitting on in this shot was eaten shortly after this was taken. The leather couch behind her is shredded. I don't think I have any more throw pillows and her doggy bed has more stuffing on the floor than in her mattress.

The reason I bring this up is because I saw my optometrist today and told him my woes. He told me that it was common for young dogs to decimate eyeglasses, so don't worry. She'll get over it. It struck me that whenever that happens, he makes money having people purchase another pair. I'll bet he's rooting for the dog!

She's a year old now and she's found her preferred form of communication -- incessant loud barking to the point the neighbors are using words I've never heard them say before. A lot of them are words I've never heard me say before, either.

Don't let her fool you with her cuteness. She uses it to find ways to get in trouble and she's faster than I am. I'm all for adopting pets, but this one saw me coming a mile away. I figure, all told, that I've spent somewhere around $2,000 in property loss and anti-dog tactical gear and spray. She's my best friend...I have to go take my pills now.


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Taking A Deep Breath

Other than the fact that my abode smells like a dog kennel, I'm filling my lungs to dive into a pre-submission edit of my manuscript, "The Sheep Eater." I'm slowly learning that editors like a writer to have his work honed when he submits it...go figure! It's only taken me four books to work this out in my wee noggin.

I had a revelation when I submitted my most recent edit on "Hollow Point" the other day. Gee, I'll bet the editor would like the same things on my next manuscript, too. And the wheels turned. I have a cheat sheet to help now as well.

Maybe I can get a head start on this one and give my editor less reason to want to physically harm himself. It slows things way down when he does that sort of thing. This time he tried death by a thousand cuts and only made it to one. I'm not even sure that counted because I think it was a paper cut and didn't qualify as self-destructive.

Maybe I should run outside before I take that deep breath. My eyes are watering now and I can't see the PC screen.


Saturday, September 7, 2013

A Different Lesson

I kid you not, the puppy chewed up my eyeglasses. You know, the ones that cost about $400? It's a good thing I have an appointment with the optometrist in a couple of weeks, otherwise Lily might have improved vision coming from her patooty by morning!

She and I are developing an intense love/hate relationship. She may become a poster dog for being left outside before long. I can just hear PETA carrying on now about the poor abused doggie. It's a good thing I have a backup pair to get by with. I'd hate to miss the next stack she leaves on the floor!


Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Lesson of the Wounded Blackbear

This is a true story: The names have been changed to maintain the anonimity associated with a big "Oops!"

About this time of year a few years ago during blackberry season, some friends spotted a blackbear near their home out by one of the area lakes. The lady of the house felt that her property and animals were being threatened, therefore she pulled out her large caliber revolver and plugged the bear, sending it scurrying into the brush.

She and her hubby wanted to confirm the kill, so like anyone concerned for their neighbors' welfare, they followed the blood trail, weapons still at ready, husband now packing a rifle as backup. The brush was reportedly thick.

With the stealth of Great White hunters, the couple snuck down the trail. Suddenly, the brush beside them came to life. The blackbear was a bit put off by being shot and started mauling the missus in its displeasure.

Hubby managed to complete the task of euthanizing the beast somehow without hitting the missus, too. Her ordeal ended with several lacerations and probably in need of a change of clothes.

This was somehow posted as a minor story in the local press, possibly because of their standing in the community, but more likely because the two felt a little sheepish about spreading it around that they went after a wounded bear in dense brush by themselves.

In my old haunts I was visited by two blackbears and they ignored me when I shut the back door and hid under my bed. I have blackberries all over my current place and to this day I keep one eye out for another eye that may be out on the other side of the bushes when I'm picking the berries. I'm more than willing to share...or the local wildlife that wants them.

I've got the armament to do them in, but for blackberries? I'll wait until they want something more important, like me!