Friday, March 21, 2014

They Struck Oil!

I had a series of medical tests done this week, the last one being yesterday (March 20th). The first one was okay; simple injection of dye followed by an MRI. That was the pre-test warm up - the "before" pictures. The next round was to be the view "after" the radioactive juice was pushed through an IV and pictures taken. They didn't get that far that day.

Their main guy stabbed me twice and could find nothing. I think he was practicing his fracking...I know I was utilizing similar words in my vocabulary under my breath that included fracking, friggin', freaking, and so on. He gave up and called upon the Mistress of IVs to give it a go.

We walked to the oncology department next door and she sat me in a very comfortable recliner. My hope was returning. Four stabs and two hematomas later, she gave up, but at least I was sitting in a comfortable chair. My veins took a deep dive and refused to be assaulted.

I was told to come back early yesterday before my scheduled appointment for another test and "drink lots and lots of water." I was thinking it would probably all leak out considering the number of holes in me, but I'd give it a try.

A whole day passed before I had to appear again. I must admit that it wasn't a restful day off. I thought I was going to drown a couple of times chugging the water. However, I showed up early and went directly to the Mistress of IVs back where the nice chairs were. I was a little tense, but I had made a mental note of where my veins had popped up since the first drilling.

I showed her all the locations that made sense to me, yet she went for one that was just above two previous failures. I was ready for using more gutteral gestures. She got it right off the bat! It was no doubt one of the better secured IV sites she had performed in awhile, too.

As the rest of that test and the next progressed, I reminded everyone not to screw up my IV. I felt that they were prepared to install a pipeline of some sort to ensure the source's stability. I'm sure the roustabouts were on stand by to manage the drill site.

That was not all of the IV story, but I hit the highlights. I'll tell you about the ultrasound another time. I'm happy to report that I am not leaking, but it's kind of nice being your own nightlight. That radioactive dye is a unique party favor!


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